A Mother's Gaze
by TwilightSnowStar
Summary: This is the story of Renee and Bella, little things that brought the foundation for their personalities. From the time of Renee and Charlie to Twilight's ending. Better than it sounds, and guys, I worked hard on this. May have a companion with Charlie.


**_Well, I'm trying something very new here. This is what I'd like to call a very strange writing excercise. I'm trying to develop different styles of writing, and normally I write in First Person Form, which is basically someone telling the story, mainly Edward since EPOV is a lot easier for me. Anyway, I'm trying this thing where writing is a bit vague and the lines between things starts to get blurry. _**

**_This is my take on some key parts of Bella and Renee's life together, from beginnning to end. I'm thinking of making a companion with how Charlie feels. The Charlie one would have parts of New Moon and Twilight in it since he is a much bigger part of those stories than Renee really is._**

**_Tell me how you like this. Please? I worked really hard on this._**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or Renee, or Bella, or Charlie, or Phil, or Edward, or Carlisle, or anyone else in the Twilight world. I don't own Twilightor New Moon. These are all property of Stephenie Meyer._**

* * *

Renee was 19, she was with the love of her life, Charlie Swan, and she was now Mrs. Swan. She was ecstatically and incandescently happy, she was a wife, and she would live with her love in his hometown. How had she gotten so caught up in him so quickly? Was it his handsome face, framed by a curling mess of brown hair? Maybe it was his charm, his easygoing manner. Was it his kindness?

As Renee looked up into the eyes of her new husband, smiling down at her with his love for her, she found the solution as she thought to herself, _Or maybe it's that smile?_

Renee was 20, and was soon to be a mother. She had never not wanted to be a mom but now she was feeling anxious. What if she wasn't a good mother? What if there were problems? But then the contractions began, and she didn't have another clear thought until the baby, a girl, was laying in her arms, her pink skin warm and soft, with a little patch of dark brown fuzz on her head. It was at that moment that Renee felt her troubles be quelled as she cuddled the little girl, her little baby, and gave a smile at Charlie, standing nearby looking both worried and relieved. Then there was a nurse with a camera, and Charlie crowded next to Renee and their new daughter, while both adults smiled and the baby slept, and a picture was taken.

* * *

Renee was 21, Bella was 6 months old, both were leaving. It was just too much, Renee couldn't take this miserable town any longer, Charlie wasn't helping either, their marriage was just not working anymore. Renee was sad at the thought she was leaving behind the man she had married and had so many memories together, but she was happy that she would be leaving this tiny, rainy, marshy, swampy, damp, cold, exhausting, sunless, wet, and sad excuse for a town. Little Bella was swamped in a purple woolen blanket that had been a present from her grandmother and was now dozing peacefully. Renee was holding Bella and her own bag, walking out the door with Charlie at her heels, begging her to stay, to give it one last chance, but he was silenced when Renee slowly turned to him in the doorway and said, "Just let me go, Charlie. It didn't work out, okay? I really, really hate Forks!" And she was out the door and headed to her car, Charlie staring at her dumbly in the doorway, with little Bella stirring in her warm, purple cocoon. 

* * *

Renee was 25, Bella was 3, both were living happily in their home in Phoenix, Arizona. Sure, Renee could be a bit scatterbrained, and Bella might be a bit of a handful, but they both got through together, and with maybe a tiny bit of help from Renee's parents who lived near them. Bella went up each summer to spend some quality time with Charlie, Renee was nervous at first, but Bella seemed to enjoy being around her father, so she was alright after awhile. It was during times like these that Renee would think of what would have happened if she had stayed with Charlie and never gotten the divorce. But things were too late now, and she didn't regret it, she was just curious, right? Right? 

* * *

Renee was 28, Bella was 6, it was the first day of school for Bella. Renee had always wanted to be a teacher but right now she merely worked in a day care. Today, she was nervous. What if Bella didn't like kindergarten? What if the other kids made fun of her because of her pale skin? What if they teased her for her clumsiness? Bella looked just as scared. Renee gave Bella an encouraging smile that Bella weakly returned. And just like that Renee released herself to the urge to hug Bella so tight that Bella would have the 'comfort' of her mother all through her day. And with that, Renee unwillingly handed Bella over to the smiling woman at the door of the school. 

* * *

Renee was 32, Bella was 10, and it was the moment that Renee had been dreading since the day Bella was born. It was THE TALK. Renee talked to Bella gently and reassuringly, making sure to assure her that she wasn't dying in any way from a recent…bloody…development. Renee was relieved that it was over but also worried because this meant that Bella, her little girl, her Bells, was growing up. Someday she would have a family of her own, and Renee would be a grandmother, not any time soon she fervently hoped. She just was worried that Bella would do what Renee had done and rush into a marriage. She just hoped that Bella showed good judgment when she chose the man she would marry, he would have to be a good person, love Bella very much, be able to provide for her, and of course, he can't be too old, 2 years maximum! But of course, it was Bella's choice. 

* * *

Renee was 34, Bella was 12, and they were all dressed in black. Renee saw tears in her daughter's eye even while she was trying to hold back her own. Her own mother was gone; it was like her father's funeral all over again. Renee took a quick peek down at Bella to see how she was coping, this was her grandmother after all, only to meet those brown eyes that were so startlingly like her own. Bella's eyes held an array of emotions, from fear and longing, to anger and sadness. Renee knew that it was then, with the reverend droning on about a person who didn't sound at all like her mother, that Bella had learned the only real truth the world had to offer, No one lived forever. 

* * *

Renee was 38, Bella was 16, Bella was growing into a beautiful young woman, she just didn't see it, but Renee saw it every day. And Bella looked beautiful in her dress, she was Renee's Maid of Honor, in her marriage to Phil Dwyer. And Renee knew, looking at her new husband's face, she had made the right choice. 

* * *

Renee was 39, Bella was 17, and Renee was getting ready for the separation of her life. Her little girl was moving in with Charlie, in Forks. Renee had no idea what she would do without Bella living with her, her little daughter was moving out. Inside, she knew that it was for her, she knew that Bella was moving in with Charlie so that Renee could be with her new husband. Renee knew that Bella was lying to her when she told her excuse that she actually wanted to go to Forks, Bella had always been a terrible liar and Renee knew that she hated that town as much as she did. And it was so, with one last hug between mother and daughter that Renee let go of the one thing that had been there with her ever since she left Charlie. And it was with tearful eyes that Renee gave Bella one last wave goodbye. 

* * *

Renee was 40, Bella was 17, and Renee had never been so worried in her life. There her daughter lay with more injuries than Renee would like to know, and she was worried sick. Apparently, she wasn't the only one. There was this gorgeous boy sitting by Bella's bed, his eyes staring intently at her face, keeping a vigil over her. According to him, he was Bella's boyfriend, Edward. Renee was upset to say the least, since when was Bella interested in boys! She was so young! But the boy did seem to have every characteristic that Renee had set down for any boy in Bella's life. He seemed kind, the way he talked to his father and Renee. He obviously loved Bella very much; she hadn't seen Edward leave Bella's side throughout all of her visits to the hospital. His father was that handsome doctor…he could obviously provide for Bella if this relationship was something a little…lasting, Renee hoped not. And he didn't look older than Bella at all, according to him they were both juniors at Forks High School. 

* * *

It was a day later that Renee peeked into the hospital room to find that Edward was sleeping on a chair by Bella's bed which didn't surprise her at all, the boy had to sleep sometime. But it was the silent cry of, "Mom!" that brought Renee to Bella's bedside, finally able to see her daughter in a conscious form. Renee had a firm talk with Bella about this recent development, in other words, Edward. Satisfied that it was merely a high school crush, Renee said a loving warning to her daughter that she would be back, and she walked out the door to meet Phil.

It was strange; there were so many doors in Renee's life and in Bella's, the house with Charlie's door, her house in Phoenix's door, and this door in Bella's room. And it was then that Renee submitted to the only truth the world had to offer, that her last door was death, so was Bella's, and she hoped that Bella would have many doors in her life before she got to the last one. Maybe this boy, Edward, would show her more doors, and Renee hoped Bella saw all of them. After all, No one lives forever.

* * *

**_Well? What did you think? Did you like it or not? I won't be continuing this story but I might publish something like this with Charlie. Tell me if you want it in a review, it's the only way I'll know._**

**_I kind of liked all that irony in there, what did you think?_**

**_Normally people think of Renee as dreamy, childish, a bit silly even, but she has to be a mother somewhere right? And come on, she wasn't really folled, she knew that Edward was a big part of Bella's life even if she tried to convince herself otherwise._**

**_Tell me what you think!_**

**_Questions? Comments?_**

**_TwilightSnowStar_**


End file.
